Enough Walking!

Well, it's been a while. Haven't built anything because there isn't anything worth building. That, and the fact that I am attempting to enslave critters so they can brutally crush the lives of innocent creatures that I deem unworthy of enslavement. AKA Pokemon.

For the uninitiated, the latest Pokemon game comes with a pedometer that you can use/abuse to unlock extra stuff on your game. Calculations have put full unlock requirements at around 2 million steps. I was wondering for a while how awesome it would be if you could somehow put that thing on the Team Fortress 2 scout and just let him go. Bugger runs around way more than I ever will in a day. This very mediocre comic was the end result of thinking of other means of having the TF2 guys manipulate the pokewalker. Most of us probably have done method #3 since #1 simply doesn't cut it.

"It involves WALKING? I don't follow."

Would You Like A Second Opinion? You Are Also Ugly!

Sometimes, you get unexpected things that make you laugh. Sometimes, you get this while eating gummy bears:

Figure 1: Regular healthy gummy bear on the left, and what appears to be a cancerous blob on the right.

I brought the specimen to the resident doctor and game warden. Hopefully, they can shed some light on the mysterious specimen. By the time I transported the specimen, I had found that there were some other abnormal bears being analyzed at the sample room.

The red bear on the left was likely formed prematurely. The one on the right lost a limb and had lots of red discoloration on the region. None of them seemed to interact with the green blob.

Medic: I haf never seen anyzing like zat in my life.
Sniper: I wonder if it's hostile to humans. Mind if I take a closer look?


Sniper: It's quite squishy, mate. I can't tell which side is the head. Or what it's supposed to be. Is Norad sure that this originally was supposed to be a gummy bear?

The specimen was agitated and grew hostile. Defensive action was needed.

I think I'm looking at its bum...

You can tell by the subtle shifting of mass towards the Sniper that the blob was acting aggressive. There was no other means of subduing the organism peacefully. The Sniper took aim and put it down. After that, it was dissected and sacrificed for a few bits of health.

I'll be back to normal posts once I procure the proper materials needed for this week's project.

RED Team Goes Treasure Hunting

J.Norad presents: RED team goes treasure hunting: because I can't be bothered to.

RED team had set up camp near the local garden. Just to be safe, they've put up a sentry to protect their haul.

Sniper sets up shop. "I think his mate saw me..."

"EUUUAHHHH..." BOOM. Headshot.

I crush puny little men at local store and steal their itty bitty treasure!

"With this, we can fire Sasha for 2 seconds!"

Desk Vignettes #6: You did WHAT?

SOLDIER: Hmmm. Where is my rocket launcher?

SOLDIER: Hey, female non combatant! Do you know where my rocket launcher is?SOLDIER: It's about this big and makes little maggots cry and cower in fear!

HOTARU: Oh that thing? It looked so old and outdated, I traded it to someone.

HOTARU: I got you this Null Ray Cannon in exchange for your old weapon. I hear it's quite effective against electrical based objects.

SOLDIER: Null Ray Cannon? What manner of trickery is this?

SOLDIER: Hm, it will be a mighty weapon against enemy emplacements! But will it work on little maggot scum? And most importantly, who has my rocket launcher now?

SKYWARP: Fear me earthling! I command the power of one of your most feared earth weapons!

Desk Vignettes #5: Worst Date Ever.

"And this is where I store all the little maggots I've beaten in combat! That's Shia LaBeouf, Ken, Steve, Capt. Price, Little Susie, Uwe, Hugo, Steve, George, PeeWee and STEVE!"

Desk Vignettes #4: A Spy's Guide to Getting Girls (part 1)

Since the oven's kaput til Monday, stopping Scout sculpey fun, here's some Sniper/Spy love.

Sometimes, it seems like it's too late to snag that girl. The Spy has ways to get around that.

To best increase your chances, it helps to dress to impress. Best to hide that shiv when you do it though. Nothing scares a lady off like a guy holding a knife.

Strike up a conversation.

Know what she likes and try your best to get her interested. In this case, Hotaru can't resist the idea of six long, hot and heaving barrels of minigun.

Victory!

Desk Vignettes #3: "Can I play TF2 with you guys?"

Story time, featuring Shia LaBeouf! I'll add my own story this time, using mostly dialogue from TF2 whenever possible. For those who like to make up their own, feel free to ignore the scrbbles that make your head hurt and look at the pictures.

SOLDIER: That was an amazing killing spree! By ME!
SHIA: Hey guys! I'm Shia LaBeouf. I'm new here. Why are all of you standing around a cup full of heads?
ENGINEER: Were you that guy who was in Transformers?
SHIA: Yeah. I was also in Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull!
ENGINEER: Durned robots. I could've handled them better than you did, ma'am.
MEDIC: I zid not like ze crystal skull. But I do like watching ze hurting in zat film.
SOLDIER: You didn't take your lumps like a man, private Twinkletoes, hiding behind CG!

SOLDIER: Alright, give him hell, boys!
SHIA: Uh oh.
SOLDIER: If god had wanted you to live, he would not have created ME!
DEMOMAN: Don't worry! I'LL be gentle!
ENGINEER: I'm going to beat you like a rented mule, boy.
MEDIC: Come over here, I promise to heal you!

Desk Vignettes #2: No love for the Sniper

Experimenting with visual methods of showing emotion for figures. This week's experiment: hearts. Feel free to make up a story to go along with these pics.

Always a good tactic to bludgeon the Sniper while he's distracted with someone else.